drowse takes over

* I am trying to weigh heavier. Something changed a few days back, i know wut that something is....its d realization that I am falling sick all the time...30th july perhaps...evening was pretty bad...and i informed them that my limbs were aching real bad, and the response i got was 'aah, ok'....no-one loves u ..can love u...the way u can love urself...so love urself......and loving ur own self could be a real fine place to start this process. So i gotta take all the strings in my hand again, its good dat m at the driving seat of my life...i can change things or atleast make efforts to do so. I already feel a little fluffy, eating thrice a day...practically spending all of my time in kitchen cooking things...for myself....and its liberating....the biggest sensory pleasure...everytime im finished eating, im thinking wut i'll eat next....its kind of intriguing and beautiful in a way...how we change the whole nice field of grains into food and eat them away...we can eat the whole earth...and still remain hungry....did i see picture of a god from whose mouth the whole universe came out? lord krishna, yeah, i guess, it was lord krishna, though im not too sure. wow! u produce things to consume them. world works on this simple principle.

* These days i feel livid towards my neighbours, they are extreme cases of self-centricness....they are difficult and moody people. God give me d strength to see things in equanimity...they shouldnt matter to me...no one should matter....dettachment is the way to be.....except that i want to kick them. let me just concentrate on my breathing process, meditation helps...breathe in...breathe out...breathe in...breathe out....i want to kick them.

* It seems I might have devised a theory about love by mistake...the other day when i looked at a question mark which looks like this '?'. It looked to me as if its half a heart ...heart as we make in normal life, not the real auricle-ventricle type of heart.So it tells me that we all are half a heart...all of us....we are born with certian questions and live with them until someone with the other half-a-heart comes along and if their half-a-heart...fits our half-a-heart...it makes a whole and a complete heart( the way it looks generally on greeting cards). So if ur set of questions, in their question form itself, answers my set of questions, that could get people going. Most of times people with their unique form of question mark are not able to fit well with the way others form their interrogation/question marks. The idea that each one of us giving away a full heart to someone is not too convincing...its like i give u set of my questions in life and my answers and so how would i be useful in answering ur questions in life...
i need to be more articulate on this one. it shouldnt sound corny for better comprehension...and the other half-a-heart could be anyone's...friend, family..whoever we feel affinity for.