snippets of past

wake me up before you go-go! true-love oh baby, true love oh baby, Baltimore's tarzan boy, all those tracks....and the listener used to be in her tank top and tight knee length skirt and colourful bangles and colourful ear rings....thats was my sister in 80's. a little glamorous doll even then. Never apologetic for her accent even in 80's ...all her friends had this accent, her teachers had this accent. her friends were like the most fashionable young chicks in 80's and Idgah hills...and there was dimple kapoor with her ten dalmatian dogs every evening in her pink trouser and off shoulder tank top...a signature clothe-line then. that was all in this beautiful sleepy town of bhopal. what happened to all those girls? Girls who were born trendy...where did it all come from? we didnt even have cable then...but none of them looked contrived.
we walked on a long pipeline to go to gurudwara which was some 2kms plus to and fro.
then, we shifted to new bhopal....a complete antithesis to old. didnt feel like the same city. i would come back home at 4 pm from school and mum, rich and me would eat food that mamma would make in her solar cooker. i didnt like veggies cooked in solar cooker. i couldnt be much with sis by then...her time would be spent in college...then came some very forgettable dark times...except those moments when we both couldn't control our laughter on our pathetic situations.....we went on a laughing fit with watered eyes...i would sleep behind her chair even when she attended visitors at ICC, our company. she would do the same.
then, there was time when we 3 sat together over tea and watched bewitched. then some time with vinayak. rest is all forgettable.
Her farewell, she sang a song. ooh -lala ..how does she always manage that. my farewell....i used be all thrilled those days for no reason. may be because i thought ill also get to college. College was so not enjoyable. quite a buster.
i like march and april's noon. if u do nothing and watch that sun in the balcony and feel that uneasy temperature.....there r good chances you would feel vacant. isnt that the core truth of life? a never ending vacancy. nothing can fill in that blank. one who lives in past is a loser. oh really?? i dont think so. and the best thing is whoever cares what i think, or whoever thinks what anybody thinks....we have our goals set....all of us...we just keep playing our chess. my mother was a baby once, then a young school going girl, then one of the most beautiful teenager sikar would ever know, then a wife, then a mother, then a bereaved lady, a sad mother, a granny...she has gone through all best to worst emotions herself....but i view her as my parent, it works for me...we search for a no or least stress mind set. how many times have i really thought that somewhere within, she must be still a little girl, a curious teenager.....life is some congregation of self-centered blobs.
These days i always stay awake, sleep less. it helps me be in trance through out the day, which in turn helps remain unconcerned. they can mock me big time right on my face, it matters quite less, i look at the monitor almost as if i have popped in an LSD, or some other psychadelic drug. life is a cursive writing, theres a flow...and i dont remember anything these days. im loving it.