this is how i justify my blog's name

i see people's skin...their texture....notice it....to know more abt them. some have their outer fabric more in place than others....but thats not where my eyes would want to reach. I think...ok, whats beneath their skin....soul? NO. beneath the dermal tissue is muscle mass....whats beneath the muscle mass?? Soul? NO. Bones. then...is it soul now? No. Bone marrow. it is a liquid, nothing beneath it. thats where the tangible journey ends. so, if i take a bone, place some muscle mass over it and some dermal issue...would it become a living breathing thing...OH MAN! though, i would never ever do that...handle meat....dont call me a lover of lipids, bodily fluids, bones, skin, meat. an egg eaten in a sweet dish, a few sundays back kept me restless for many days to come. So finally u become what ur roots mean u to be. monkey wasnt n isnt a carnivore....i guess, all were meant to be leaf-eaters, but some had to survive in harsh patches of earth so resorted to eating flesh, something that their own bodies were made of....some say they love its taste...flesh's taste??? WOW, interesting....have a terrible urge to give lewd comments...but hey! so coming backkk to my love-interest ...mean i love soul searching...what's its address? its a life force. If Einstein could give a formula for energy, some heck of brains can demystify and decode equation for life force too. something tangible coming out of tangible source but with a motion set in by 'life force'. its like playing marbles, its the intensity of force with which u make one marble hit another...which would decide how far this another marble would go(?), how much shall we live, in our case. Hmmm..perhaps.... but that doesnt quite solve the question, where did the first life force come from....not the outer activity but the deepest emotion and the discerning mind which is even deeper than the deepest of oceans.. help me understand...if ever there's a passer-by....and has some light to throw on geneses of soul...i'd like to know....and PURLEES dont try to evangelize me....i get very bored with religion talks...i dont mean 'dharma' or the 'basic nature' but RELIGION. U and ur god is ur v.private matter, dont drag me into ur spiritual bedroom....i dont operate on just- keeping-the-tradition- alive level.

snippets of past

wake me up before you go-go! true-love oh baby, true love oh baby, Baltimore's tarzan boy, all those tracks....and the listener used to be in her tank top and tight knee length skirt and colourful bangles and colourful ear rings....thats was my sister in 80's. a little glamorous doll even then. Never apologetic for her accent even in 80's ...all her friends had this accent, her teachers had this accent. her friends were like the most fashionable young chicks in 80's and Idgah hills...and there was dimple kapoor with her ten dalmatian dogs every evening in her pink trouser and off shoulder tank top...a signature clothe-line then. that was all in this beautiful sleepy town of bhopal. what happened to all those girls? Girls who were born trendy...where did it all come from? we didnt even have cable then...but none of them looked contrived.
we walked on a long pipeline to go to gurudwara which was some 2kms plus to and fro.
then, we shifted to new bhopal....a complete antithesis to old. didnt feel like the same city. i would come back home at 4 pm from school and mum, rich and me would eat food that mamma would make in her solar cooker. i didnt like veggies cooked in solar cooker. i couldnt be much with sis by then...her time would be spent in college...then came some very forgettable dark times...except those moments when we both couldn't control our laughter on our pathetic situations.....we went on a laughing fit with watered eyes...i would sleep behind her chair even when she attended visitors at ICC, our company. she would do the same.
then, there was time when we 3 sat together over tea and watched bewitched. then some time with vinayak. rest is all forgettable.
Her farewell, she sang a song. ooh -lala ..how does she always manage that. my farewell....i used be all thrilled those days for no reason. may be because i thought ill also get to college. College was so not enjoyable. quite a buster.
i like march and april's noon. if u do nothing and watch that sun in the balcony and feel that uneasy temperature.....there r good chances you would feel vacant. isnt that the core truth of life? a never ending vacancy. nothing can fill in that blank. one who lives in past is a loser. oh really?? i dont think so. and the best thing is whoever cares what i think, or whoever thinks what anybody thinks....we have our goals set....all of us...we just keep playing our chess. my mother was a baby once, then a young school going girl, then one of the most beautiful teenager sikar would ever know, then a wife, then a mother, then a bereaved lady, a sad mother, a granny...she has gone through all best to worst emotions herself....but i view her as my parent, it works for me...we search for a no or least stress mind set. how many times have i really thought that somewhere within, she must be still a little girl, a curious teenager.....life is some congregation of self-centered blobs.
These days i always stay awake, sleep less. it helps me be in trance through out the day, which in turn helps remain unconcerned. they can mock me big time right on my face, it matters quite less, i look at the monitor almost as if i have popped in an LSD, or some other psychadelic drug. life is a cursive writing, theres a flow...and i dont remember anything these days. im loving it.

Discrimination outside and inside

We haven't quite forgotten how bollywood babe Shilpa Shetty felt sidelined for her Indian skin tone and her Indian ways, a lot of noise was made from all corners then. Recently there was a nationwide opposition towards Andrew Seymonds and Australian cricket team
in general. They came across as rude and discriminating . But while all this happened , were some Mumbaites keeping mum? Because they were doing the same thing at home against fellow Indians. Eminent political figures of Maharastra and their staunch followers this time around, were not covertly discriminating against the north Indians, they did it openly and on camera. They got an outlet in guise of Raj Thackeray who either really harbours irreconcilable anger towards north Indians or seems to be playing it as a trump card in the electoral world . He wants to capitalize on it. At least he wants to. So what he has done and the spark that he has ignited, is it wrong? Dont think so. He has said what many of us might have felt or sensed.But what many of us may feel, does not mean that what we feel is correct or justified, example: We may feel like sinning sometimes. NB: Sinning has various connotations, not just one.Anyways, in short, majority may win but majority is not always right! Would not take rocket scientist to figure out that Thackerays could not quite crack it this time.In the long run, nothing short of magnanimity, accommodation and being in the right side of the accepted behaviour will help. So its no crime to feel cold and alienated in your own home if it gets flooded with guests but the idea is to make space for people in your own space, to let go of this possessiveness, because you would not be able to save 'your own illusionary territory' from outsiders for long in anycase. As long as Mumbai has anything to offer, people would come here, they have a legal right to move about freely in their own country. Let them come , dont stop the process, this will only disturb the self-correcting mechanism of the place towards achieving equilibrium. Thanks to the massive population, Mumbai is so ridiculously expensive already, not many people would take the decision to shift to Mumbai these days. The city seems to have become a place for very rich, and perpetually struggling other classes. I think the point I want to make is that we Indians are brilliantly hypocritical, we make noise at something we are so rampantly doing ourselves, whether it is the mentioned racism, or opposing West's decision to cut jobs for Indians but what we do at home, is disgraceful. We are discrimination at every which level, class, caste, colour, creed, you name it, we have it, here in India. Talking of colour , we dote on white skin (but scream blue murder when a white guy says that white skin is more attractive, now, this might be a boon for black female tourists who thankfully don't get raped by our white-skin lover males but this isn't a great news for white women, sorry girls, you are vulnerable considering our countrymen's orientation and tastes). . Anyways....the tip for the T-team is that no body votes for people whose election campaign deals in sabotaging three out of six fundamental rights. I would say that what you have done in the past few days is sheer lack of tact. You could have promised the local people that if they vote you in, you would ensure provision of a fixed quota of jobs for the localites and make Mumbai a pride infrastructurally. Golden Rule: Niceness rules and people who feed a dragon end up in their stomach. So don't do anything that reflects your narrow horizons. I mean, what kind of a jerk is your politcal advisor? why dont you fire him and keep a bihari instead? Dont worry we wont tell anyone(Shhh!! ). Biharies and north indians have a greater kautilya acumen. you have got to face it.