Thursday, November 26, 2009

afternoon thoughts

# Trying for too long at too many places with no luck...may leave you with no idea, no strategy, no ambition.

# Went to the terrace to soak up some sun...took a full biiiig breath, enough to stuff the diaphragm...and a flash of memories connected to 'sun bathing' came rolling into the head...all jumbled up images. no confabulations, true stuff. Dont care to set them right. what can possibly be achieved strolling in the black and white alleys of past? its not dat u could 'drag' them into present, they weren't supremo in any case, just cozy.

# I need reformatting.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Ceasing the Apocalypse in our nation

The other day I was watching ‘Apocalypse’, a national geographic program on World War 2. Most of the recounting was done around Adolf Hitler and naturally so. Here was a man on a mission that seemed more personal than national. A patriot could never have jeopardized his nation on several different levels as he did. Not only was his desire for annexation of other countries insatiable, but his deviation led him to cause unspeakable harm to a race he didn’t like. He put Jews in concentration camps and fumed them up in gas chambers. There was footage of a 2-3 year old Jew child, looking snug in his overcoat, all smiles, trying to dance in thick snow as he and thousands like him were to be thrown into gas chambers in a few days. Now that kind of an image can stick to one’s mind and its hard to scratch it off.

Barbarous it surely was, but we have no option than to develop a kind of desensitization towards it because we all need to live. We need to put such horrifying odds and ends into a black box and throw it away so that those images don’t haunt us very often. As we block the images away, we can’t afford to block away the lessons which that dark part of history left us with. Hitler was a disgrace to a civilized human society. It is said that he didn’t like races that were non-aryans. So, if you didn’t like certain people, you’ll sponge them away? Who does Hitler remind you of in today’s time and Indian context? It shouldn’t take time to guess that. Yes, the Thakre gang. Why are we cultivating a whole bunch of Hitlers in our country? How can we even tolerate such people here, and how can the Indian government not put them in jail and give them each a never ending term behind bars? What is that one Indian thing that they have ever done? If they are so ashamed to be Indians, if they dislike hindi and people from other Indian states so much, why are they even staying in our country? When we see the government doing nothing and sitting pretty as these hooligans encroach upon people’s fundamental rights, become agents of disharmony, speak with utter disrespect, act hypocritically, talk irrationally, do nothing creditable other than pampering the exaggerated sense of their own attractiveness and power, all those stories about government having behind the scene link-ups with mobs seem true.

A few days back, Shobha De on a TV program was hesitant in lambasting one of the many undemocratic moves of Raj Thakre. Why a woman supposedly so impartial got in league with the country’s foe? The commonality of the maharashtrian factor got better of her and now no amount of logic would ever hide her mind, intention and the pseudo-ness of her justifications. When we talk of terrorism in Pakistan, we talk of how the apparition they created is now eating them away, how BJP may not shine again from under the rubble of Babri masjid, similarly supporters of the Thakre gang should realize that these mobs are dragons who if nurtured will one day swallow them up too. This bunch is bringing a bad name to their community and doing them disservice, which if not now will be glaringly evident in a few years time; but why should we always wait until something really unfortunate happen? We should clear the litter away before it’s too late and do our bit in creating a clean, just and equal society.

Monday, November 16, 2009

yawn thoughts!

* This rain just doesn't stop. I mean its all good but take a breather and let people have one for at least sometime in the day. anyways....they call it nature's fury. nobody can teach it anger management.

* Rudyard Kipling's short stories...cant get on...find it v.hard to connect with 'where art thou?' kind of a language. I am not reading it.

* is it me or the world is getting excessively boring? well, its me. the world is as it was.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

chill in the air

Grrrrr...m growling. three days of rains and before that three of no sun...so almost six days depressing greyness. There was a brief entry of sun around 4 ...and my gawd...it was super-duper fine. i cant bear the thought that the whole of winters is still left...i dont like this weather...it sort of scares me....it instigates gloom & doom ...so hard to pull through.its so cold alreadt n half of november left, then 31 days of december, another 31 of jan, 28 of feb....fortnight or so of march...120 days approx...kaise niklega yeh waqt....
i dont believe i used to like this weather once...now its a complete no-no...i understand the undertone of 'tamso ma jyotir gamaya'. as i close my eyes, i see heaven....big grassland, many little kids playing wearing colourful flowery dresses, sun shining but not relentlessly, swings, my people all smiling ear to ear .....i dont wanna wake-up

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Battle it out

Couldnt sleep a few nights back, every time i closed my eyes and started a certain train of thoughts...images of a young and apparently very pretty and successful lady came barging in my head. This woman shares my birth number...and is sitting on top of the world today...im not used to feeling this way...ok, let me use the word, im not used to feeling small....but undoubtedly i was feeling somewhat the same. I have maintained my sense of equanimity at all times and no amount of good and bad indications that people have tried to leave me with in good and bad times, i have never lost sight of something unique in my being, which is the crux of my identity....something that keeps me content and unblaming whether my pocket and mailbox is full or empty. I recalled having read about maslows law where he spoke about the need for recognition besides other needs...something that you cant overlook. Where does this need originate? i seemed to have never watered its seed. It comes from the knowledge that you have or had the capability of being equally accomplished and so equally famous and equally sought after...and you missed your chance. Right? wrong. Not all good writers become authors, not all beautiful people become actors, not everyone with good voices become singers . A one industry cannot accommodate so many people. This woman is in glamour field. Many women are jealous of her unprecedented appeal. Why are they jealous and unhappy with actresses of today while they didn't feel an ounce of envy for actresses of yester years. That's because then the actresses had genuine talents in them, and so they were called 'artists'....and actresses today are just 'endowed' with physical attributes which befits them for the role, and thats why they just remain a label of being heroines. When one is out there on top just because of endowment, anyone who is endowed is pinched hard inside to achieve the same and there's a lot of bitterness inside them whereas talent never breeds resentment, it only inspires awe. Moreover, I am sad when I am in me...but when i see me from the top of the universe...im just a tiny blob which is there where it was meant to be.I must accept myself the way i am and must accept my role in this universe as it has orchestrated.
What's the use of the recognition of millions, when what matters to every individual is respect, recognition, love, attention of just one or just a few near n dear ones?....and whats the use of the recognition that's there to go and freeze itself in nostalgia?....what's the use of the recognition from those who have never been loyal in their loyalties? Agreed, its a high... that i was not meant for.